Why we don't want Children.

Lately I have received many words from individuals that my husband and I should really start a family.

-My first question is usually, 'Oh so you are now in control of my life and know what is best for me? Thanks for informing me...'

I just do not understand the necessity to pressure others into have children.  I see nothing wrong with them.  I am just not ready for kids.  In fact, the older I get the less ready I am for children.  My husband and I have become so aggravated by others telling us we should have children that we actually go around listing reasons why we should not have them.  We honestly love children because they are cute and if raised properly they can do some of the most amazing things,  but I cannot fathom having one of my own right now.

For one...they really do annoy me.  Yes they are cute and everyone claims that when it is your own child it is so much easier to bear.  Really? I have a dog and a husband.  The dog I have had for almost 7 months and the husband for 5 years....I love them both with all of my heart but I must say they annoy the hell out of me and it does not matter much i love them, I love being able to get away from them from time to time without wondering if they are properly supervised (although sometimes I wonder about my husband haha).  They can be loud and obnoxious and I can't just walk away from that if they are mine.  But if they are someone else's then I do not have to keep putting up with them! Awesome, it's like keeping my sanity.  That doesn't sound crazy at all. 

Another reason I do not want children-because the financial hardship of being married already feels like it is enough of a struggle.  I love my husband to pieces (as many know) but, as many also know, he really is very expensive.  I do not believe I could maintain a proper amount of financial stability if we were to have children.  I would have to make sacrifices...for one not letting my husband invest in certain things that he wishes.  And (even though I do not desire a lot) I would as well.  For one we both love outdoor activities.  But much like everything else in this world, that requires money.  I don't think we would be able to do most of the things we enjoy doing.  I mean face it, you really do have to sacrifice certain parts of your life when you have children.

And then as you raise them you have to accept that you will not be their only influence. They will go out into the world as individuals (a good thing, in my opinion) and it may not be what you wanted of them.  Which can be contradictory.  Everyone wants the best for their children but sometimes the children do not agree on what you think is best for them.  If you don't want your daughter wearing the trend of skimpy shorts but she does it anyway...then you have to battle that.  And their choice in clothing is only just the beginning.  Who they hang out with, what they want to do with their lives, what they don't want to do, what they choose to do in the here and now....all complications.  Because at the same time you're raising those children you also have your own life to live.  Some people are cut out for those choices, those sacrifices...but me? I just don't think I am.

I know what you're thinking...well that's not what I think, or what my kid is like, or what I have to deal with.  But really face it, in some ways it is what you have to deal with.  You are just willing to make those sacrifices because you do not see them as sacrifices.  Often I have been told that it will be 'different' when I have kids.  I don't think it will be.  I think the only 'difference' is that I will say it is because I will either 1) justify my sacrifices by arguing that it is well worth it or 2) I will be willing to make those sacrifices.  But right now? Just because everyone around me is having children/preparing to have children? No.  Just because you are ready does not mean that I am.  I am only 24 years old.  I have so much that I want to do, so much to prepare for to start my life in the direction I want it to go.  If I were to engage in the act of bringing a child into this world I would have sacrifice those desires to make room for someone else's.  As selfish of an opinion as it may appear to others, I am not ready to do that now.  And I know my husband is not either I think having a child is one of the most selfless acts you will ever have to make. I am unprepared to be completely selfless, to give my life to someone who at times will be thoroughly ungrateful for all that I do for them.  I know they will be because when I was child I had my own moments. I know that perhaps some day my opinion MAY change...but honestly right now...I don't see that happening.  I am willing to keep the option open but in this moment? No.  Not at all.


Oh, and my husband would like to add that he wants a motorcycle.